Intimate relationships are bound to meet certain challenges. How we handle those challenges is part of what determines the success of the relationship. But there are some certain negative behavior patterns that can creep in and undo the love and affection that you have for each other.
1. One such behavior is contempt. This shows a lack of respect for your partner. If you don’t respect them then it is rather difficult to express your love for them. Even if you manage to do so, it won’t be believable.
Contempt can show itself in several different forms. One is sarcasm. This means taking cheap shots at your partner or making fun of them. Anything you can do to belittle them or make them feel less of themselves, at their expense, of course is used.
The important thing to remember about contempt is that the partner either won’t say anything about it until they completely blow up or they ignore and it slowly erodes away their feelings for their partner. In either case, if the contemptuous behavior continues, it is not a happy ending.
2. Lack of communication. This is a big one and ruins more relationships than most anything else. When a partner won’t communicate, they are on a collision course. Their partner never knows where they stand on an issue, if they are happy, if they need to talk, and more.
An intimate relationship is built on effective communication so what happens to it when communication is taken away? It has no hope for growth and very little survival rate. A partner will only put up with the silent treatment for so long and then they will go looking for someone who will talk to them.
3. Next comes criticism. This could start out innocently enough as little jokes or personal jabs about your partner. Usually, the one being ridiculed won’t say anything in the beginning because they don’t want to damage the relationship. But over time, the personal digs become more like personal attacks. The humor is lost and the intensity and frequency of the comments start to increase.
No one likes to be made fun of – especially by their partner. Inflicting this type of abuse means the abuser is not happy with themselves in some respect. Whatever their problem is, they find it easier to lash out on their partner than to try to better themselves.
Like contempt and lack of communication, there is only so much a partner will put up with before they will leave.
For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of your crisis.
The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give… it’s in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.
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