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Marriage Improvement Through Everyday Interactions

valentines day backgroundToday, fewer people choose to marry, and more people are ending marriages through divorce than ever before. This is an indication that marriage takes some skill and effort. For those of you who are married or planning to marry, knowing how to succeed at marriage is important. Here are some simple tips that can help you make your marriage stronger.

Firstly, give your spouse attention in everyday conversation. Work on really listening to your spouse during daily activities. In a world in which multitasking has become the norm, it will take effort to give undivided attention to your spouse when he or she is speaking. Seek not only to listen well, but also to take an active interest in your spouse’s ideas. This conveys your admiration and respect in a very visible way and will increase the link between the two of you.

Secondly, remember that words can be damaging. The way you communicate criticism can make the difference between open communication and defensiveness. Words that attack can cause hurt feelings and weaken the connection between partners. Good communicators avoid personal assaults, name calling, and showing a resentful attitude. Additionally, when making constructive criticism, focus on asking for change rather than demanding it. Spouses who can discuss important issues in a positive manner build trust while those who engage in verbal aggression erode it.

Furthermore, words that are thoughtful can only improve a marriage. Try to compliment your spouse on a regular basis. This has two positive effects. The most obvious effect is that your spouse will feel appreciated, loved, and admired. But, an unexpected bonus is that you will be reminding yourself of the excellent qualities that drew you to your partner in the first place. You will have a positive eye toward your partner rather than a focus on deficiencies.

Also, remember to engage in compassionate touch to increase the positive bond between you and your spouse. Research indicates that touch increases levels of oxytocin, a bonding hormone, in the body. An increase in this hormone results in more cooperativeness between partners (Morhenn, et al. 2012). While sexual touch increases this good-guy hormone, other forms of positive touch, such as massage and hand holding, have the same effect. Couples who touch frequently have a closer link to each other.

By and large, marriage improvement occurs through small everyday interactions. So, you can do much to make your marriage flourish. Pay attention to your spouse and his or her ideas. Use words wisely, by avoiding verbal attacks and complimenting freely. Also, use loving touch to build a stronger bond with your spouse. Good marriages are worth it and still do exist in this present-day.

Sources
Morhenn, V., Beavin, L.F., Zak, P.J. (2012). Massage Increases Oxytocin and Reduces Adrenocorticotropin Hormone in Humans. Alternative Therapies18(6), 11-18.

Are you looking for a more rewarding relationship with your spouse or intimate partner? We can help. New Leaf Outreach in Dalton, Georgia can provide support to make your relationship more fulfulling!
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What To Look For While On A Date With Someone

Happy Romantic Couple Enjoying Beautiful Sunset at the BeachWhen you start dating someone, you look for various signs and hope that they are the right person for you. You want to feel that you can belong to them for a long time, or even for the rest of your life. However, before you start looking for those special qualities in other people, you must first ensure that you are the perfect and open minded individual other people would want to be around. Only then will other people give you a chance.

Know What You Want

Once you know the kind of individual you are like, you will be able to distinguish what you want in other people. Here are a few steps that will help you in your hunt for your perfect somebody:

Knowing What You Are Looking For

You should know what exactly you are looking for in a relationship, and how you can make it most stable. If you are confused with what you want, you will never be able to determine and accept anyone. A healthy relationship will involve compromise, hardships, and a lot of effort. Every relationship goes through natural cycles of good and bad times. This isn’t something you should avoid, it is something to embrace as natural and healthy for a relationship. Be sure that you can handle all of that before officially starting a relationship. Search for common grounds in someone you are dating, and make sure they are also looking for the things that you are looking for.

Do Not Repeat Past Mistakes

We all make mistakes. After all, we would not be humans if we did not. However, learning from those mistakes and trying not to make them again is what will ensure success for us in relationships. We need to be able to develop ourselves instead of going back into the same hole for the sake of our healthy relationships.

Expect A Human Being, Not A Robot

Nobody is perfect. We all struggle with our own faults and we all shine in our strengths. Therefore, while you are on your hunt and analyzing someone intently, try not to put too much pressure them. Simply relax and have a good meal. Being picky about everything will not lead you anywhere.

Be Patient

Most importantly, learn to be patient. Every good thing takes time and effort. If things came easy to you, you would not be whining all the time. You must learn to discover and take things one step at a time.

Jay is a student of the relationship between men and women. He’s focused on understanding what makes men and women draw closer and what forces them apart. His decade in this field has given him many interesting and unconventional insights. His two recent areas of interest have been first date tips and first date conversation secrets.

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Relationship Advice – First Date Mistakes Many Men Make

Couple Holding HandsYou’ve just met an incredible woman and you have your first date scheduled. This is your opportunity to either impress her or repel her. Obviously, you want to accomplish the first one – impress her. But be careful… there are some things that are a no-no on a first date and will more than likely ensure there isn’t a second one.

Mistake No. 1 – Alcohol. You might be an occasional drinker, a social drinker or even a raging alcoholic, but does she really need to immediately see that part of you? If you can’t seem to make it through one date without booze, then you might need to put the relationship on hold while you check yourself into a treatment center.

For social drinkers, ask her in passing if she drinks. Chances are she does like an occasional drink in the right setting. If she does, then plan that down the road. But the same warning goes for your date. If she jumps in the car and asks you to stop by the liquor store before the date begins, it doesn’t bode well for the evening.

Mistake No. 2 – Introducing friends. Friends are great. But like alcohol, they are a part of your life that should be introduced at the right time. Let the first date be a time where the two of you find out if you even have anything in common. Get to know one another and then trickle the friends in later.

Mistake No. 3 – Going overboard. Your first date needs to be casual and laid back so you can focus on her, and likewise. Filling the evening with extravagant entertainment and one dramatic display after another might make time pass quickly, but it doesn’t allow you the opportunity to see if you even have anything in common. Besides, if you do all of the flamboyance on date number one, date number two is going to be REALLY boring.

Mistake No. 4 – Talking about marriage and babies. You might as well hang a sign around your neck saying you have a contagious disease. This is a sure way to stop a relationship before it ever has a chance. Marriage and children are great topics – at the right time. Which, in a new relationship means a long ways off.

Mistake No. 5 – Baggage. Recounting lost relationships is disastrous. The only time you should be dealing with baggage is if you are boarding a plane. Bringing it up on a first date makes you look desperate. Women run from desperate.

For nearly 25 years Beverleigh Piepers has searched for and found the principles to help you get to the root causes of your relationship crisis.

The solution is not in the endless volumes of information you find across the internet, or the advice your friends give… it’s in yourself; the thoughts that make you who you are.

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